JOKES!!

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[Iziondawta]

So this city slicker is out in my neck of the woods one day, and sees this stunning horse on an Amish Farm up the road.  Well, he's just GOT to have it, so he dickers with the Amish man for a while, and finally owns the horse.  City dude jumps on, and yells, "Giddyup!" but the horse just stands there!  So the Amish man explains that they "train 'em a bit different than you's in the city!  He'll only move when you yell "PRAISE THE LORD!" and he'll only stop when you holler "AMEN"!

So, city slicker gathers his reins, gets a good seat, and yells "PRAISE THE LORD!"  And sure 'nuff, that old horse took off like Satan himself was chasin 'im!  Off they went, through the Amish farmers fields, and up here into the woods.  Racing down the trail at top speed, the city dude sees a large cliff up at the end of the trail here, and right at the last minute, remembered to yell "AMEN!" and that ole horse just stopped in his tracks!  Raising his eyes to heaven, the dude sings, "PRAISE THE LORD!"


                    (this is why I ride Mules! LOL)

[chukerz]

lol thats a good 1
here's mine.
Sherlock homes 'n watson are camping out. sherlock homes askes, "watson lookup, what do you see" watson sais "i see stars". "and what does that tell you watson?" 'n watson sais "astronomicaly, it tells me that there are millions of explodind lights spanning millions of miles. this then conforms that the galaxie is a huge place so it tells me there is possobility ofother life out there, but why do you ask?"

taking a deep breath sherlock homes replys "Watson, someone has stolen our tent".

sorry if i kinda screwed up writhing it 'n it dosn't make sense but thought it was pretty funny.

PEACE OUT

[moonfall]

pritty kick ass thanks for a much needed laugh.



keep the peace

[gunep]

a man in Tajikistan or smth (Asian country) is sitting nere his home watching his small children playing ball in the sand. his is happy. a friend of him comming to greet him. "salam! oh what a wonderfull children you have! what do you think of them?"
"...well. should i wash them or make another."


fuf.. i read it & understood the difference of knowing the language and my own knowlege )))

don't be cruel  

[moonfall]

there long to read but they are pritty good, thank you




keep the peace

[Rebenga]

What kind of room can a person never enter?



A mush-room!

[RasRaulik]

Dis joke is an old one but funny...


a jamaican guy enters a resturant and while sitting at his table he notices a gorgeous woman sitting at another table alone. he calls the waiter over and asks for a bottle of the most expensive champagne to be sent over to her knowing that if she accepts it she will be his.

the waiter gets the bottle and quickly takes it over to the young lady, saying that its from the gentleman. she looks at the champagne and decides to send a note back to the jamaican, the note reads...

"for me to accept this bottle you need to have a mercedes in your garage, a million in the bank and 9 inches in your trousers."

After Reading this note the jamaican sends back a note of his own, it reads...

"jus su yuh know...me av a bran new benz an a bran new bimma park up inna mi yard, an mi av over 10 million inna de bank but nuhbaddy an mi mean NUHBADDY nah gon mek mi cut 3 inch off a wah mi av inna mi pants...suh yuh can jus sen back di champagne!"

[rasrossi]

Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day.

"My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy.

"Tommy," replied the second.

"My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy.

Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer."

"Honest?" asked Billy.

"No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.

Isnt it funny eh?

[msganja575]

this lady was a street walker but she also lived with her grandmother , so one day the street walker and some other girls were out and the police stop all of them and told them to line up on the wall, so while they were doing that the grandmother came walking down the street and she say her granddaughter and ask her why were they standing on the wall and the girl said that the police were giving away oranges the grandmother said Ok I think I needs some oranges too, so the grandmother went to the end of the line. When the police got to her he ask her how do she do it and she said I just take my teeth out and suck them dry.

[msgal]

 
These jokes were just what I needed at the end of a long week.  Listen to reggae and laugh.  I especially liked olegallis'
story about the rich mans party.

[ThinkingTree]

A man is called before a court and the judge says "in your own words tell me how the man was killed" i stood up and said "zip idely pog gong dup dooooo...!"

-George Carlin

[jahbless]

i loved the one bout de jamaican inna de bar  

[BLING_BLAOH]

Good jokes people! Very Good!! Mi luv di ones posted by Lilrasi_I.

Blonde and Blonder  

A Redheaded mom walks into her daughter's room, finds a beer bottle and says, "I never knew my daughter drank!"
A Brunette walks into her daughter's room, finds a pack of cigarettes and says, "I never knew my daughter smoked!"

A Blond mom walks into her daughter's room and finds a condom.

She says, "I never knew my daughter had a penis!"

[BLING_BLAOH]

This guy was training 3 people to be CIA assassins in an apartment building. He gave the gun to the first person, who was a man, and said, "Your wife is in the back room. I want you to go back there and shoot her." The guy goes in and comes out 10 seconds later and says, "I can't do it."
The man says, "That's because you don't have what it takes to be a CIA assassin. Get the hell outta here!"
The man gives the gun to the second person, who is also a man, and says, "Your wife is in the back room. I want you to go back there and shoot her."
So the guy walks in. He comes out 30 seconds later crying. He says, "AAHHH! I Can't do it! AAAHHH!"
The man says, " That's because you don't have what it takes to be a CIA assassin. Get yo punk ass outta here!!"
So the man gives the gun the third person. This person was a woman. He says, "Your husband is in the back room. I want you to go back there and shoot him."
The woman walks in the room and shuts the door. No soon after the man heard, BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! He also heard furniture being threw around. The woman comes out of the room 1 1/2 minutes later and says, "Some asshole put blanks in my gun. So I had to beat that sucka with a chair."

[Natty_Fred]

funny