Help I by proofreading and offering constructive comments on a letter

Custom Search

[Nazarite I]

I need input on a letter that is soon to be sent around the UK to various RastafarI people. The letter was drafted by Iself and the Empress I work with in the gardens at Fairfield House and I and I would like some input from various RastafarI people before it is sent so that I and I can perhaps improve it. The importance of the letter will be self explanitory...





“During the years 1936-41 of exile from His beloved country Ethiopia occupied by forces of aggression His Imperial Majesty Haile Selassie I Emperor of Ethiopia resided in Bath in this villa. In memory of His residence and in appreciation of the warm and courteous hospitality of the people of Bath His Imperial Majesty has donated Fairfield Villa to the cooperation of Bath to serve as a home for the aged. May 1958.”
Plaque placed on the wall of Fairfield Villa in English and Amharic.

Greetings to all Ones receiving this letter.

I am writing to appeal on behalf of Fairfield House in Bath for assistance in keeping the service run through the house open as usual. Since His Majesty Haile Selassie I, gifted the house to the city of Bath, it has served the elderly people of the city first as a residential home and then as a day facility for the elderly as His Majesty intended. The house is currently run and cared for by a small staff of volunteers and caters mainly to the elderly Indian, Chinese and Afro-Caribbean community, providing advice, services, food and a club operating three days a week. Furthermore, the house calls people from all around the world due to its significance as a monument to world history.

However it is very likely that in the next two years, the local council will try once again to sell the house for a profit, dismantling the valuable service it provides to the community. Staff have been told that the service has two years grace, and people moving into the newly rented-out caretakers cottage (that has always been considered to be paired with the villa) have been told that the club “will not be there for long”. Attempts to sell the property in the past have been successfully opposed with great assistance from the RastafarI community on the grounds that His Majesty gifted the house specifically for the service of the elderly, but the council have stated to the houses administrator that they no longer care about this. While it hasn’t quite got to the point where I and I have to appeal to the council once again, the situation is certainly getting dire.

Despite this there is an attempt underway to prove that the house and the service it provides are valuable and viable. If this alone doesn’t convince the council to reconsider, it will certainly make arguing the case for the service and the house as a whole remaining open much easier when the time comes. At this time, the only project being undertaken is to improve the grounds around the house with a garden dedicated to Haile Selassie I and the elderly people of the house in order to provide an outdoor space for the house’s patrons and visiting RastafarI people to use, and to show on days that the house is closed that the space is still used. However, with only Iself and one other working regularly in the garden and the staff in the house occupied with running the regular services, there is much work that still needs to be done. The house is in a poor state of repair, with several rooms needing repainting and redecorating and there is a neglected vegetable patch that is currently only seeing minimal use because of the lack of manpower and material in the garden. Though those two are the most immediate concerns, there are many other things that could be done to improve the house.

What I ask is that if any Ones have the time and skills or even just some spare equipment or materials they don’t mind donating, come and look at the house and give what they can to keep the house serving the purpose that His Majesty intended. Whatever Ones decide to do though, please spread the word, because if nothing is heard about the situation, I and I don’t want to be the first Ones to say that all is lost.


Blessed love and thanks for any assistance with this.

[supereuropa]

Good letter. If it's sent to as many people as possible it should pretty much make a change.

[surfmon~I]

BlessedLove,
  I only wish I were closer so that I could put time in the gardens.  More Powah Bredren, Fight the system that dont see, the Greater value of...His Majesty.
NuffLove

[JAHwalkwidme]

Yes brother, that is very well worded.

I would definitely consider adding a summary two sentences at the top, some people don't like to read too tough, and it would just get the message across real quick before you go into detail.

I will probably save some money and come down some time, still.  If there's anything I can do until then please let I know.

Jah bless

[Nazarite I]

Give thanks for the upfull comments.

I've redrafted the letter slightly so I'll post the new version up soon. In the final version there will be address and contact details at the end. I'm not sure how to do a summary in a couple of lines but the I is right that it could use one. Although anyone likely to help would read the whole thing I suspect.

Blessed love.
Posted on: October 02, 2011, 07:26:37 PMI thought I'd bring some news from Fairfield because things are looking up. On Monday when I and I were working with a local Elder and the sculptor doing the carving in the garden, the treestump of the oak started to leak water out of the trunk where the sculptor has chipped away the outer wood. This is likely the spring under the house that the council have already blocked off coming up though the long cut down oak. I and I took this as a good and wonderous sign and surely enough the good news hasn't stopped flowing since. First I and I heard that the mayor of Bath (who is also the head of the historical foundation) is visiting the house on Friday. I also emailed the local paper and they have registered interest in the story. A Ras who lectures at Bristol University has also put together a website, that will be constantly updated throughout this.


http://houseofhismajesty.wordpress.com/

I and I will also be holding a gathring of RastafarI and other people at the house on the date 11/11/2011 to give Ises and begin to reestablish the house as a local and national centre of RastafarI activity. So far the support from everyone involved has been extraordinary, with all sorts of people expressing love for the house and horror at the council's actions.

Much work still to be done, but I and I can go forward in confidence.

Blessed love and give thanks again for the Itributions and love from Ones here.


Posted on: October 19, 2011, 06:25:35 PMGive thanks for the support of Ones and Ones here. Plenty of works left to  be done.

[JAHwalkwidme]

The greatest news.  More strength brother.

[Oskar]

i give thanks. indeed it is good to know that there are people in high places that still have a heart.