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Author Topic: Surreal  (Read 1871 times)

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dadrakerman

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Surreal
« on: November 22, 2005, 01:32:21 AM »

I apologise for my lack of posting, found another MMORPG to play, and it's actually released under the GPL, pm me if you'd like the name and website.

As the subject of this post, I attended the burial of my biological father.

As far as being a father, all he wound up doing was being an anonymous sperm donar.  I had not seen or communicated with him for the past 20 years, the first seven of which he could have seen me under force of supervised visitation rights.

As I've mentioned before, I do have a mental handicap, which is moderated with the use of certain medications.

Finally able to relax and meditate on the past weekend.  As far as the requirement of supervised visitation, I'm 33, & this was done to the father in 1977, and the specifics I don't want to mention in any forum. Ironically, due to my mother's mental handicap, most of the specifics are honestly unavailable.

Part of what I'm going through, is that now I have no chance of exactly what my early childhood was like because both my parents are dead. The sperm donar died of cancer, and the most honest description of my mother's death is that her mental handicap became terminal and she committed suicide seven years ago.

I humbly request all you prayers to your higher power(s), so that all of our mansion builders in heaven can help those affected by his death.


And I humbly ask, that if you're so moved, to include me in your prayers right now.

Thank you all for allowing me to pour this out of my system.
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M-Dub

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Re: Surreal
« Reply #1 on: November 22, 2005, 03:11:24 PM »

Greetings and peace.

You will definitely be in my prayers. Take care Idren.

One

Jah bless
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dadrakerman

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Re: Surreal
« Reply #2 on: November 22, 2005, 04:56:21 PM »

Thank you M-Dub
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EmpressCarla

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Re: Surreal
« Reply #3 on: November 22, 2005, 06:06:34 PM »

Blessings

I am very sorry to read of your loss. I am sure that even though your father was not a regular presence in your life, the loss of him in the physical is still a loss. I will pray for your peace of mind and resilience in this surreal time.

Be blessed.
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dadrakerman

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Re: Surreal
« Reply #4 on: November 22, 2005, 10:00:10 PM »

It's just, had planned on maybe contacting him and finding out exactly what had gone on from his point of view.  No longer such a chance.
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M-Dub

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Re: Surreal
« Reply #5 on: November 22, 2005, 10:10:27 PM »

No sense dwelling on the past.  [smiley=smiley.gif] Maybe this saying will help:

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift, that's why it's called the present"

One

Jah bless
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dadrakerman

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Re: Surreal
« Reply #6 on: November 22, 2005, 10:12:49 PM »

Yes the past is the past, but still need help closing some wounds.
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EmpressCarla

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Re: Surreal
« Reply #7 on: November 22, 2005, 10:33:15 PM »

Blessings

Try writing him a letter and expressing your feelings. That might help you gain closure. It has helped me at times.

Be blessed.
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dadrakerman

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Re: Surreal
« Reply #8 on: December 02, 2005, 12:59:52 AM »

Hello all

Past 2 1/2 weeks have been more stable, coming to terms with his death.  A rather open minded mental-health therapist has been real helpful.  Unlike other mental health professionals I have to deal with, I can and have been open about ganja use.

Quote
Blessings

Try writing him a letter and expressing your feelings. That might help you gain closure. It has helped me at times.

Be blessed.


EmpressCarla, I have tried using the letter writing for other issues, but hasn't been that helpful.  But an idea just popped in my head as far as using it as a communication tool, let my therapist know exactly what is going on, will have to ponder this.

If you wish to get ahold of me when I'm not posting, my address is draker001DELETETHIS@DELETETHISgmail.com


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