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Author Topic: JOKES!!  (Read 66100 times)

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Murungu

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Re: JOKES!!
« Reply #45 on: March 11, 2005, 03:25:54 PM »

Ohhh! Wat a qute jacan! I woulda marry dat one!  [smiley=kiss.gif] (If him no dead. Thihi!)

Bless..
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msgal

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Re: JOKES!!
« Reply #46 on: March 11, 2005, 10:08:28 PM »

There was an old man and woman who had been married for many years. They had always fought.  And when they fought everyone in the neightborhood could hear them yelling. The old man would often say that when he died he would come back to haunt his wife. The neighbors  who heard him say this had heard it so many times they started to beleive he had magic powers or something.  They were a bit afraid of him.  Well, one day the old man did die.  His wife had a closed casket at the funeral. The very next day you could find the old woman drinking and celebrating like there was no tomorrow.  This frightened the folks in the pub. They expected the old man to come back at any time and were afraid of what would happen if he did.  When they spoke to the woman about this she just laughed and laughed.
She told them let him.  He can dig for all he's worth for all I care.  I had him buried face down.
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Jah bless. I and I love you all.

BLING_BLAOH

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Re: JOKES!!
« Reply #47 on: March 17, 2005, 09:53:26 PM »

The bear and the rabbit  

There once was a bear and a rabbit that hated each other. One day, they found a genie in a lamp who said he would grant them each three wishes.The bear went first and he said,"I wish to be the only male bear in this forrest." And he got his wish.
The rabbit said, "I want a motercycle helmet." And he got his wish.

The bear went up and said, "I wish to be the only male bear in the United States, and all the rest to be female." And he got his wish.

The rabbit said, "I wish I had a motorcycle to go with that helmet." And he got his wish.

The bear said, "I wish I was the only male bear in the world, and all the rest were females." And he got his wish.

It was the rabbit's turn, and he said, "I wish that bear was gay."

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Natty_Fred

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Re: JOKES!!
« Reply #48 on: March 17, 2005, 11:23:26 PM »

jjajaaja...
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Cultivation...

Amish2

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Re: JOKES!!
« Reply #49 on: April 01, 2005, 09:10:04 PM »

Lol these are good!
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PNG_Rasta

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Re: JOKES!!
« Reply #50 on: April 02, 2005, 04:07:26 PM »

A lesson to be learned from one typing the wrong email address! A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules.

So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife.

However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:


To: My Loving Wife

Subject: I've Arrived

Date: October 16, 2004

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.


P.S. Sure is freaking hot down here!
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msgal

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Re: JOKES!!
« Reply #51 on: April 02, 2005, 04:58:15 PM »

Oh My!  hee hee
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Jah bless. I and I love you all.

Amish2

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Re: JOKES!!
« Reply #52 on: April 03, 2005, 05:54:03 PM »

Oh that one is ace da best yet!
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BLING_BLAOH

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Re: JOKES!!
« Reply #53 on: April 04, 2005, 04:44:01 PM »

Don't be grossed out by dis one!

Genie In A Bottle  

There was this man walking on the beach and he found a bottle. He rubbed it and a genie came out and said, "I will grant you 3 wishes."
The man said, "No Shit!"

Then he all of a sudden had to use the bathroom but couldn't because there was a big cork in his ass

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Amish2

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Re: JOKES!!
« Reply #54 on: April 06, 2005, 01:58:02 PM »

Ewwwww
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BLING_BLAOH

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Re: JOKES!!
« Reply #55 on: April 07, 2005, 05:26:26 PM »

I thought yu would be grossed out. But hey, mi haffi put it out deh.
[smiley=wink.gif]
I See You!  

A few days before his proctological exam, a one eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye. He was worried for a while, but there were no ill effects, so he forgot about it.
Once he was in the doctor's office, the man followed instructions, undressed, and bent over. The first thing the proctologist saw when he looked up the man's arse was that eye staring right back at him. "You know, " said the doctor, "you really have to learn to trust me."

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Amish2

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Re: JOKES!!
« Reply #56 on: April 09, 2005, 04:01:18 PM »

 [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif]
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msgal

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Re: JOKES!!
« Reply #57 on: April 09, 2005, 07:18:42 PM »

WOW that's quite the mental picture.
[smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=grin.gif]
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Jah bless. I and I love you all.

JahJahSon

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Re: JOKES!!
« Reply #58 on: April 11, 2005, 01:01:51 AM »

this is kinda bad and mean but here it goes:

A man walks into a bar and gets a message that his wife has been in a car accident and shes in the hospital.  He rushes to the hospital to see if shes ok and hes greeted by the doctor.  The doctor confirms the fact that she has been in a car accident and she is paralized from the neck down.  He is going to have to feed his wife, bath her, change her clothes and adult diapers because she is a vegetable for life.  The man buries his face in his hands and starts hysterically crying.  The doctor slaps him on the back and says with a smile on his face, "Im just messing with ya, SHES DEAD! Haha"
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BLING_BLAOH

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Re: JOKES!!
« Reply #59 on: April 11, 2005, 03:07:03 PM »

Definitely  

Nursery school teacher says to her class, "Who can use the word 'Definitely' in a sentence?"
First a little girl says "The sky is definitely blue" Teacher says, "Sorry, Amy, but the sky can be gray, or orange..."

Second little boy..."Trees are definitely green" "Sorry, but in the autumn, the trees are brown."

Little Johnny from the back of the class stands up and asks:

"Does a fart have lumps?"

The teacher looks horrified and says..."Johnny! Of course not!!!"

"OK...then I DEFINITELY shit my pants..."

[smiley=tongue.gif]
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