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Author Topic: Seeking truth  (Read 2927 times)

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Coffinjoe

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Seeking truth
« on: September 19, 2008, 09:11:09 AM »

Brothers and Sisters,

Im a very confused soul, raised traditional Christian.  Its been 17 years since I been put on this earth, bout two years ago I lost faith in the traditional church.  Since that day my life has been one unanswered question after another, the universe is a lonely place with no God to guide my soul.

Using the 'logic' that God supposedly gifted with me, I cant make sense outta anything.  The christian faith is full of fallacies that I cannot stomach, it teaches blatant closed mindedness and IGNORANT obedience to God. 

I been sufferin from anxiety all my life, when I was a young christian boy I thought demons were trying to posses my soul.  I would constantly fear being damned to hell, or being found unworthy in God's eyes.  Now that I hold no faith in God, I just always think my body is going to fail me and im going to die and cease to exsist.  You see, Im just a simple man who wants to please God.  But I refuse to give my faith to a God that does not exsist

Brothers and sisters this year ive lost alot of friends, drunk driving and drug overdose.  My anxiety is worse than ever, right now its 2:04AM and I cant get a wink of sleep for fear of my heart suddenly stopping.  This panic attack brought me to these forums to seek some knowledge.


Now without wasting anymore time, I have a few questions to ask.  Now please dont take offense, none is intended.

Why, oh why do you worship HIM.  In my eyes and understanding this man was a great prophet, but a prophet is not to be praised and worship'd more than regular man.  Are we not all children of the same God? and Is not all praise ment for the one God?

I also dont understand the illiterate speech.  Sure for some it is their dialect, they were raised that way.  But for a man to intentionally try to speak this dialect only looks foolish, I do not see how using improper grammar brings one closer to understanding the almighty.

How can I become closer to God? I just want to feel his presence and be at ease with my tortured soul.

Thank you for your time regarding this matter.

-Coffin Joe


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surfmon_I

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Re: Seeking truth
« Reply #1 on: September 19, 2008, 12:28:29 PM »

Greetings Joe.
  Don't put the last nail in that coffin just yet!!!.
 You have come to a place where there are many youth asking and receiving.  I am sure you will be able to ask of them a view of someone your own age.  I am 45 now, and can remember a time when what we were/are taught just didn't add up.

  It would be a good place to start with the BEAUTIFUL things that we DO have in this world.  Focus on some of the things that are beautiful in your life.  Look Deeply, and be Honest.

  Next, realise that we are surrounded by "Death" culture.  It is EVERYwhere.  Just look at the image you chose to represent your name.  Now see that a death is the end of one thing and the birth of a new .  Do not loose Faith in GOOD, for GOD  composes 3/4 of that word.

  I will leave it here and hope that these thoughts have helped.  There are many here that hold LOVE in their hearts and have a willingness to help.  Open your mind and free your heart.

  So,the Journey begins~~~~~but realize, you are already there, just dont see it.

Forward young Lion, find the power that has been given to ya, and then give thanks to The Most I !!!!.
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Coffinjoe

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Re: Seeking truth
« Reply #2 on: September 19, 2008, 02:52:38 PM »

Thank you for the kind words,
but what is just not registering is the belief in God,

It goes against all logic and reasoning
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Human

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Re: Seeking truth
« Reply #3 on: September 19, 2008, 03:09:12 PM »

"How can I become closer to God? I just want to feel his presence and be at ease with my tortured soul."

There is an old saying that says "Man know thyself", when you know yourself, you know God and peace comes over you. Im going to say my way of seeing or knowing God ok, no disrespect to any others here this is my belief and hope in some way it helps you. I dont believe in a personal God, one who knows what you think, what you do, if your good or bad, one who is somewere out THERE, one who has human emotions like anger, jealousy, deceit, vanity or any of these things, to me that is not God and an impossibility because any one of those things implies a boundary, form, finite-ness and so on and God to me is Infinite, boundless, and beyond human conception due to our limited faculties, but, I do know that God exists because it is the PRINCIPLE that underlines everything in EVERY atom, it is what gives every atom there perpetual MOTION which is life itself. The entire objective and subjective universe is made up of these atoms, that is the fabric of everything and it is alive and moved by this principle. This principle is from a divine realm, a realm we were all once a part of until our descent into flesh, once here for the purpose of expierience we tend to forget about that realm, many refuse to believe, many deny it, etc, etc, but, when you understand your body is a combination of all things that exist in the universe as well and the same fabric that makes up a planet, a star, a blade of grass to the greatest thinker your difference, seperation from and out cast mind set dissapears, you "Know thyself" for what you are, you are everything all at once, every power in nature from the greatest heat to the fiercest wind to the most beautiful sunset and relaxing stream all exist WITHIN you right now, there is no seperation from the most greatest of life and you are the center of the universe. This is not new age mubo jumbo this is ancient knowledge and modern science all in one, this is the truth the ancients tried to tell people and taught and this is what the new realm of quantum physics is learning everyday. You are the closest to God that can be, you are HUMAN. Just becasue most may not see this and try to bring you down or become as they are you can be at peace from within because it is your reality and there is no seperation from you or anything else in the UNIVERSE, just as energy cant be destroyed neither can you, you are immortal, the very best part of you will live forever and grow more and more to a higher state. Here is a clue to all that you are, when your mother became pregnant with you, you were in the higher divine realm, then life began to grow in her fetus, the stages of pregnancy for each human MUST pass first the chemical stage, mineral stage, animal stage till it reaches the Human stage at which time it chooses to be male or female, this is the evolutionary cycle that all humanity has gone through in PAST lives, the human birth cycle is a key to all that we are and all the stages we have passed to become who we are in this stage, a human. Be proud of this, understand you are so so much more than flesh and bones and as materialistic science says, just a chemical combination following blind laws. The whole course of Evolution is the raising up unto ever higher standards of self-expression, of the spiritual grandeur within, of all the entities and beings which form the hierarchical hosts of the Boundless Universe. Everything helps everything else; nothing and no entity lives unto itself alone; every entity and everything is but a part of another entity still more grand, still more sublime. There can be no objective/physical form on earth without it's first form from divine thought in the higher realm, you my friend are being looked after from on high, you are special....."Man Know thyself". I hope this has helped, one love bredrin.
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moses

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Re: Seeking truth
« Reply #4 on: September 19, 2008, 03:26:47 PM »

Blessed Love Joe and bethren Surfmon...

Happy belated Buffy-day Bedrin Surfmon I !!! Iman hope it is neva too late to hail up so; bless.

And a warm welcome to bedrin Joe...

Welcome to the grand show of Life...

The tenseness of such shituation in which u find urself in needs courage and determination to pass thru. To undergo a total transformation, it have simple recommendations like a b c... thus, claiming ur individualistic sense from a socially conditioned mind and all madness of he says & dem say; what bout me-self? Liberty follows knowing the I-self and the need of all life to be the way all are meant to be. FREE... Free to grow up and be more in the light of infinite consciousness.

Iman site the fear in you is legitimate. But it is a dread of old self made of the clumsy of attachment to outer bonds and attachment to the like minds; a kind of group mind. Group minds always haunt a neophyte(new plant, new intiate) like ghosts of the dark and creates a troublesome identity crisis. Like a hungry vampire, it casts its enemy with anxieties from no where... Its like a psychic sydrome(And in some cases it is real so). Coud be that somewhere in ur subconsciousness the doors have not been closed to the host of bondage. One way to overcome any such negativity is to pray for the soul that u r going to leave no stone left unturned; u r going to live for the truth of the heart no matter how the new way seems to begin in odd.

The I is caught in between the first valley of darkness, and it always a moment of inner turmoil. A battle between the carnal identity to the outer patterns of life and belief; and the signs of light of true gnosis. It is always the first battle of the real and the unreal. Pray that death comes to the old self; and that the new self should triumph... And this is going to be ur baptism and ur victory into the path of life, of light, of true guidence, and true morality, which springs from the soul within.

Gnosis is the path of all people who walks in righteousness, and the true guidence. There is inner light for all who follow their heart; the purified heart. Purification is a crucial step towards the true gnosis. And by purification, it means knowing to drop all that are not necessary to life but the true needs of man. The needs that do not end on the bodily necessities but the deepmost longing on the soul. The deepmost needs of man, her/his soul, are Love and Freedom. And Love and Freedom make a unit consciousness in all the things in which the entire universe is made of. The Most I is purest essence of Love and Freedom. And this is the birthright of each and every man... Of each and every thing... And it is the supreme law.

So the indications that will come to u once u will be heading torwads the triumph are: Increased sense of Innocence and Simplicity... Is like being a child again; like bedrin Surfmon must be feeling towards his 45th birthday LOL... In the care of the MOST I we r all like little children who are left to explore and enjoy this magnificient creation. It is always wonderous and new. And we are the new generation of people... We are the Homo Novus, a new man. A desire of Ages of the Earth to give birth to New man and Nova Earth. Its is always a true herald, and a dream of all people of faith. To welcome the new livication of an integrated man. A whole man. One who is in harmony with him/her self and with the Whole Creation. And it is a celebration toward this brand new day... Remiscence the words of Bob Marley: Positive Vibration... Listen to the song and the I will feel it.

Dont worry about anything, cause every little thing is gonna be alright. A new science will confirm the revelation that; As a man is an Organism made of a lot of cells working in rhythms and harmony. We too are part of something more big, more magnificient... And that is our mother Earth. The Earth is a Single unit of Life. And so we are part of infinite tapestry of infinite Iration. The first touch into realising our essence is to know the mother... The Earth itself. And we get in touch with the mother thru the Art of Gratefulness towards one another and a sense of Gratitude to the mother of All. Only after knowing the Heart of Gratitude then we are at the blink of knowing the PRAISE. And I and I praise the SUN, a mysterious source of the Infinite Intelligence and possibility in which all of us can grow and BE. So again feel the message spoken in the song 'Give Thanks and Praises' from Bob Marley and Let it be your comfort thru the trying times.

Let the old u die, and let the metamophosis of being to happen, a rebirth. Take the shackles of ya feet, and stretch ur wings and prepare yaself to fly. And I an I long to see you becoming a butterfly, join us in this splendid wilderness to be simply happy and free.

Blessed Love One More time

JAH Bless
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If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love + If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love = I am nothing. 1 Corinth 13

Coffinjoe

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Re: Seeking truth
« Reply #5 on: September 19, 2008, 07:53:13 PM »

It is really easy to get lost in your words, brothers.

But allow me to extended heartfelt, genuine thanks to the both of you.

Human; your words really touched me, as I read them I felt like I was being hit in the gut, the end almost brought tears to my eyes.  I'm going to have to read it a few more times to derive all the knowledge I can from it.  Thank you, bless you.

I feel pretty good right now, I feel. . . . "bright".  Ive been so weighed down with fear and anxiety about where I came from and where I'm going.  But now I just feel pretty alright.  Things are becomming clearer, thank you so much.  Now I have another question

NEXT QUESTION! NEED HELP PLEASE!

I have been smokin the herb for bout a year now.  I really love the way it makes me feel and opens my mind to higher understanding.  But recently, lets say 5 months ago, I started getting horrible panic attacks when smoking even the smallest amount of ganj.  It has become so bad that I feel like my lungs are collapsing or like my heart is going to explode.  It has totally drained all happiness I once had in the beautiful plant.  whenver i smoke if feel as if im going insane, and im going to just pass out and die.

How can I stop whatever is hindering me from enjoying Jah's gift to man, Ganja.
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Human

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Re: Seeking truth
« Reply #6 on: September 19, 2008, 08:16:14 PM »

I give thanks for your kind words as well bredrin, along with Surfmon and Moses, 2 great men on here, respect.

"But now I just feel pretty alright"....thats a start bredrin, thats a start.

My advice on the herb is simply to not smoke as much when you do, smoke just a very small amount and not in the conditions that make you feel panicky,ex:around friends,in public type areas, in area were it is not appreciated etc, etc. I would go somewere very private were it is just you and smoke only a small amount and see if that works for you, if not then i would relax on the herb for a while till things inside you are better. Im sure it has alot to do with your emotions inside, clear those and the panick will go away im sure. Again bredrin learn about yourself from the inside, it is there that you will find peace. One Love all.
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1080man

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Re: Seeking truth
« Reply #7 on: September 20, 2008, 12:01:31 AM »

"the music isnt to convert people, but it is to wakes up people, regardless to who they are. "

really listen to lots a reggae and it should bring out the I's "rasta" "religious" side.

the I will feel jahs warmth soon enough.


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surfmon_I

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Re: Seeking truth
« Reply #8 on: September 20, 2008, 12:27:10 PM »

Kind  Words All, Our Heart Beats with Gladness for ones reaching and sharing such Love and wisdom.

Herb is not a remedy for fear.  It is fear that causes panic and in anticipation of uncertainty we seek to remove this uncomfortable feeling instead of looking from where it originated.  It is often not that difficult to spot, but does require honest and direct dealing with.

There are two such occurant time periods I  can rememba in youth;
Surfing Massive waves and the excitement and uncertainty of making it thru the session, paddling back out from being caught inside and barely breaking the surface to gain another Breath.
Building our Home and the period leading up to it.  A "budding" family and the approaching winter was cause enuff.

  The Holy Herb may be an escape for some, but it has usually reflected the inner turmoil and in some times, actually Maginfied it.  So, Bruddah Human's suggestion is a good one; Decrease dosage, if not dicontinue till inner reflection and outer turmoil is eased.  There is a Reason and a Lesson attached to every phase we pass thru, Faith and Strength get us thru and looking backward is always 20/20 vision.
 
With Love going out and coming In;
  Aloha.

P.S.; many Thanks for the Earthday wishes,   ::), it's been a Great ride!
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Coffinjoe

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Re: Seeking truth
« Reply #9 on: September 20, 2008, 02:50:35 PM »

Yeah, your right surmon and human,

I got burned some herb yestuday and suffered minor anxiety, today however im feeling very anxious.  to put it simply "my insides just arent right"

Its a feeling of doom in my gut, in my spirit and soul.  I feel like im losing my mind and im going to die. . . .  Jah heal me.

maybe i need to stop thinking bout how I feel, and help other people with positivity and love.

I dont know, but im hurtin'

One love.

Let me extend another thanks to Human, your words soothed my soul greatly
To surfmon as well, and brother moses, 1080man,
Jah bless
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moses

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Re: Seeking truth
« Reply #10 on: September 20, 2008, 11:43:25 PM »

Appreci-love I and I kindly remarks; bless

C Joe, that sayin 'I dont know, but im hurtin' reminds the I of the song I AM HURTIN INSIDE by Bob Marley, for some reasons Iman dont know, I had real loved that song...

And I have collected some of its lyrics:

oh-a-w-oh
when i was just a little child
(little child)
happiness was there awhile
(there awhile)
and from me, it...
it slipped one day (ay)
happiness
come back I say

cause if you don't come
i've got to go looking...
for happiness

well if you don't come
i've got to go looking...
god, for happiness... happiness

say that
say i'm hurting
(inside) and its no...
i'm hurting
i'm hurting
deep inside

oh good god now

oh hear my cry
hear my cry
yeah my my my my my my my cry

been together like school children
(school children)
then you hurt me just in vain
(just in vain)
oh...
lord, i'm your little child
(little child)
oh
happiness come back awhile

cause if you don't come
i'm gong a looking
for happiness
the road is dangerous

cause if you don't come
i've got to go looking
for happiness...happiness

said I'm...
don't you know i'm...
i'm hurting, hurting inside

oh i'm hurting

who cares
who cares

does the one who love
oh
feel the pain
feel the pain

does the one who love
feel the pain
feel the pain

(been together)
been together like school children

But somehow I relate this to spritual nostalgia, a longing for a return... Is it that ur soul is looking for something to relate with the true return to the source? Learn to listen to ur soul and learn its mysterious language.

There are other songs like: 'So Young' by The Corrs look out for it and watch the video... Iman love the song and the sisters ;). Also check it out for the song 'Island In The Sun' by Weezer. These songs have hidden keys to trigger some of deep soul memories. The I may listen to them to cheer ur moody as well...

Bless Up

« Last Edit: September 20, 2008, 11:47:30 PM by moses »
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If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love + If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love = I am nothing. 1 Corinth 13

Human

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Re: Seeking truth
« Reply #11 on: September 21, 2008, 04:14:22 PM »

Let me extend another thanks to Human, your words soothed my soul greatly
To surfmon as well, and brother moses, 1080man,
Jah bless

Respect and love all around, never give up.
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Coffinjoe

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Re: Seeking truth
« Reply #12 on: May 06, 2009, 02:36:09 AM »

Rastafari!

Its me again, quite some time has gone by (8 months!) since I posted this thread in my most desperate state. 


It was the start of a radical transformation, and reading over all of your responses again (this time in my new state of mind), I see such wisdom in all of your words. please allow me to extend a hand of deep gratitude, you all were there for me in a very dark time.

My anxiety has passed, and I serve the One God, Jah. Still confused about the divinity of jesus christ, or H.I.M. However the way I see it, If I stay humble, open minded, and full of love...I will come to understand these things in time.

My life has changed so much, Jah has given me wisdom, and appreciation. For the FIRST time in my life I really appreciate all the grace given me. The beauty that surrounds me each day, It brings a tear to my eye...

The pain I felt for the loss of my friends has turned into positive energy.  I carry each of them on my shoulders, I carry them as a reminder that life is wonderful and short. I have been infused with UNSPEAKABLE love for everybody and everything, my mind has been lifted to a state where I am truely happy. again I am so thankful I could cry!

I dont smoke herb anymore, but I still think its a good thing for people to have.


And lastly, Wisdom has become my highest reguard, and my persuit. I want to grow wise,  not wisdom of this earth, but wisdom from Jah. Wisdom is more valuable then silver and gold, more precious then any diamond.

Again, I an I thank all of you, blessed love!
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moses

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Re: Seeking truth
« Reply #13 on: May 06, 2009, 10:32:58 AM »

HAil Up CJo, my bedrin... Come so we can chant down babylon one more time:) :D

Now that I and I knows; Here I man take the I into another revelations ;)

Have a close look and reflection on the following book: http://www.earthscape.net/cosmic/index.htm

By the way, I have written a piece of work; a social economic fabric for 21st century, a canon of thought. Insights of time capsules of work, Transcendence of corporate idealism and New Banking Forms that are synpathetic to industrial growth. It is a first template on the Third Way. Its extended platform is going to be clusters of functioning, but that is work to be pursued sometimes later.

The first canon of thought was written by Aristotle, and its known for its excessive linearity. The Second was written by Francis Bacon and it is known by its emphasis on so called Baconian Methodology of observing natural phenomenas. And Bacon was critical of Aristotle's Organum and linear perceiptivenes. An individual wrote a Tertium Organum, that i as a man had not gone thru it or have adequate information concerning it, nevetheless what I man have proposed is a synthesis of both previous organums into a sythetic fabric that Bacon was expected to be realised in future.

A forth Organum will be A work of engineering events within timelines, a conjugate of what I propose, and John Hornecker the author of that  mentioned has a key. And Organums are syncronoused within a single timeline and continuum.

I as a man have mentioned some of this details as I have noticed some of the things I have mentioned within this thread has been included in that Organum Iman have proposed, So indeed Coffin Joe you must be having something to do with what Iman is doing as well....

Bless Up Idren, and have a nice reading, Revelation is waiting for you.

One Love

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If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love + If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love = I am nothing. 1 Corinth 13

Knowledge

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Re: Seeking truth
« Reply #14 on: May 06, 2009, 12:55:52 PM »

Re the anxiety attacks when smoking Herb.

Bredrin, I hear you, I mean, when I smoke, I cant stop, smoking (herb) until I am extremely Paro....heh heh.
Or at least that's what they tell me... personally I just feels it's makes  I very aware. As they say Ignorance is bliss and a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.

So don't worry yourself.

Hail up Human, Father Surf, Sis Nya, MsGal and all the other concious ites...... 
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