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Author Topic: Married to a non Rasta  (Read 2827 times)

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tonyalynnbarrz

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Married to a non Rasta
« on: February 24, 2009, 10:53:31 PM »

Greetings in the Name of the Most High Jah Rastafari

InI am in need of guidance please.
InI am a Rasta wombman. I answered the call to Rastafari after I was married. I have two dawters whom I am raising Rastafarian. My husband who is not Rasta is opposed to my way of life as a Rastafarian. He is especially opposed to me raising our children as Rastafarian. He feels that I am not RASpecting my own "religion" by "going over his head" and doing what I want with the children. He feels that I have changed my entire household to Rasta and he feels that it should be "the head of the households" choice...basically not the woman's choice.
I constantly remind my husband that he doesn't attend church nor does he pray with our children. So since he is not actively introducing our children to Jah in his own way, then I will do it my way.
He is also opposed to my locing our childrens hair...which I am doing anyway.

My question is this....Am I stepping out of bounds by raising my children surrounded by the Rastafarian faith since my husband disapproves?


Give Thanks
Jah bless,
Tonya
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Redge

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Re: Married to a non Rasta
« Reply #1 on: February 25, 2009, 01:08:57 PM »

id say that ur raising them right but thats my view but then again
its coming from another RAS so would you not be better off asking
someone who is not ras nor any other religion or faith?

what does your husband have against Rastafari? maybe explaining to
him more about why you are Ras and he may see more into our way
and not convert but be more open minded.

hope this helps,
 
jah bless
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Heartical One

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Re: Married to a non Rasta
« Reply #2 on: February 26, 2009, 09:04:48 PM »



Greetings in the name of HIM.

I don't  have the answers but I guess I can only talk on my own experience.

I follow the way  of rasta, my partner is also too does not practice anything religious but will call himself christian if the question arises.

I guess the wholes situation comes down to tolerance, you partner is wrong to claim anything religious for his own advantage just when it suits him, he is in the wrong for doing this.

I say you carry on practicing rastafari with your children, my partner knows the steps I am taking and thankfully he has not said to me that I cant do anything in that respect.

Talk to your partner about rastafari it could just be the age old reason for any resentment that he just doesn't understand.
It will be on your partners head to open his mind and see beyond the summit.
Hope this helps.

bless
Heartical

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Every life force you enocunter in this forum or outside including yourself was one with Jah before their time began here on earth, treat them with the respect you know you derserve for yourself.

joanna

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Re: Married to a non Rasta
« Reply #3 on: February 27, 2009, 01:10:09 AM »

BLessed Love Sistah,
i had this one with my ex. we agreed to compromise in the end.. i grew the boys hair but didnt dread it. he had no objection to religion as such, but said ras was not decent. yet listened to roots.. so i blew that theory into the water and he had to back down.
  as for religious guidance, i raise my boys ras, but i also teach them that others opinions are valid as long as they harm none.
a household should be an equal partnership.. there is no head in my household,we comunicate and try to always compliment the other, but then my husband is also ras... i couldnt have another relationship outside my faith.
 as rasta i am not subservient to any person, no Queen should ever be as that itself is contrary to our faith... (the emancipation of mental slavery as is so well quoted) so he is incorrect in that respect. if he studied properly then he would know that to be untrue.

personally i am of the opinion that seeing as i carried, laboured and gave birth to them alone, and am the main caregiver, i should be free to guide them as i see is in their best interests. but then, maybe i am just difficult! ;)
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moses

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Re: Married to a non Rasta
« Reply #4 on: February 27, 2009, 09:21:11 AM »

Ras-pect Sister Joanna 8)
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tonyalynnbarrz

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Re: Married to a non Rasta
« Reply #5 on: February 28, 2009, 12:40:42 AM »

InI want to give thanks to iveryone who gave me their advice on tis matter. InI will itinue to seek guidance from Jah and I Rasta family.

Many Blessings,
Sistren Tonya
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surfmon_I

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Re: Married to a non Rasta
« Reply #6 on: February 28, 2009, 02:40:50 PM »

Greetings Family,
  Having two dawtahs, there has not been much time since this threads origin to reply.  In fact, there has been a period of inner reflection.
  Sistren Tonya, please read  Sistren Nya's posting of His Majesties speech on the BBC to America.  In it there are clear example of His Majesties view of the obligations and meaning of what it is to be a Christian.  To point, there is no reason to be pushing anything on the children, but showing them the loving kindness and Blossoming Beauty that we all are capeable of.  Here are a few point from that speech, found in this very section of the site;

   Let peace reign in your hearts, among your families, in the unity of your governments, and in your relations with other peoples of the world. There is no greater day of gratitude and joy for Christians than celebrating the birthday of Our Savior Jesus Christ. On this day of happiness, every Christian, by meditating on [Jesusís] life and the work He accomplished for all of us, tends to forget the trials he faces and the sadness that breaks his heart.

  With the birth of the Son of God, an unprecedented, an unrepeatable, and a long-anticipated phenomenon occurred.

  Shame on those of us who are Christians and do not follow the way of the Savior of the World, whose life was filled with kindness, humility, and martyrdom! If we lived by the laws he gave us and were worthy of being called Christian, peace would have reigned on this earth.

  Sistren, a woman is the home of her children.  They may feel protected by the father, but ultimately run to the safty of her arm in times of trouble.  The topic  of raising youth in the confines of "religion" is what we have known from our parents, and in this day have the ability to further focus this Blessed Faith to forward this world.  It is not by our focing them on a path that they will take to it, rather the beautiful harmony that IS created when the two paths become ONE.
  It has probably been felt withIn the marriage bond of a family, that a point such as this may lead to strongful pride, and polarization, even seperation.  It need not come to that, as we see in the very declaired faith of His Majesty.  Many can even look to the history of the past and fuss about "fact" and agenda in what has come to form the "Christian" Faith of todays world.  Focusing on Rastafari, we see the roads lead to home, and this is where the heart is.  Free yourself from friction, for the freedom to harmonize is withIn both your power, just has to be asked for, and shall be recieved.
  Please up~date us as to the progression of this Family affair, and Welcome to our site.
OneHeart.  JAHLove
 


 
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tonyalynnbarrz

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Re: Married to a non Rasta
« Reply #7 on: February 28, 2009, 04:51:35 PM »

Greetings In The Name of H.I.M.

My Dear Rasta Family,
InI words are humble and I come with RASpect.

InI have been in prayer regarding this matter within my gates. InI have come to the decision that I will Itinue to raise my (our) children as Rastafarians. It is nah that I am trying to push my views on them it's just that I am a Rasta and I see it no other way. InI feel that once they become old enough to make their own decisions the they are free to choose which faith, religion or lifestyle they want. For now InI feel an obligation to guide them towards Christianity in some way and since I am Rasta...then that's all there is to it.
May I please state first that my husband is a wonderful father,but my husband doesn't go to church. I have told him on numerous occasions that he is most welcome to take them to the church where his entire family has gone for over 30 years. I have told him that I will not feel offended if he wants to take them to bible study with he and his mother on Wednesday evenings. I have no problem with the likkle ones being involved in Inything that has to do with his religion which is Baptist. There is just one big problem....he (my husband) doesn't attend church himself. He never prays with the children. He never attends bible study and his mother is constantly begging him to participate in their church activities and he never does. So it's not that I am forcing my beliefs on them. It's just that if it weren't for me, they wouldn't recieve any lessons of Christianity at all.
As far as their hair...First may I share with you all that one of my twins is Autistic...her hair is very difficult to do with her condition. Once she was throwing a very hard fit and I said "Jah, please tell me what to do." I started braiding it in tiny braids all over her head and I liked the way it looked. The other twin... I did the same thing. My husband even liked the way it looked. Time passed on and I Itinued to pray Jah Jah on what He felt was best. I looked in the back of both girls hair and it had begun to loc. InI felt that maybe this was the answer Jah was trying to give me. Please note that I am nah a lazy mother and use Rasta locs as an excuse to nah do their hair. I will be honest and say that African American children sometimes have a negative self image of their hair becasue it is nah straight. I nah want my youth ta feel this way so this is another reason InI loc their hair.  InI prayed for instruction and I feel dat InI recieved it.
I have been living my life as a Rasta for a while now and I have grown in so many different positive ways. InI now feel that I am gaining a Rasta family and I am so happy about that.

Jah bless and Guide
Sistren Tonya

Surfmon_1
Give thanks for your words and in depth explanation of the speeches of H.I.M.. I feel that you gave me a most warm welcome and InI feel irie that our bond will grow.
Jah Bless

Joanna...Blessed Queen..give thanks that we are on the same page!

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moses

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Re: Married to a non Rasta
« Reply #8 on: March 01, 2009, 06:52:08 AM »

Dear sister Tonya...

As u had contemplated to resolve with that path of raising the I's family, here below is an alternative for the I to have a glance and choose what the I's capable of.

Just for your consideration ;)

^^^
It is your trust that creates miracles.

Nobody else can create a miracle for you, but your trust is the source of all miracles.
You were brought up as a Christian; that is a misfortune, but nobody can avoid it.
If you had not been brought up as a Christian, you would have been brought up as a Hindu, as a Mohammedan, as a Jew -- and all these diseases have the same quality of destroying you and your trust.

In fact, to destroy your trust is to destroy you.

Because you were brought up as a Christian, you were told that Jesus loves you, Jesus is in you. But these were words told to you, not your experiences. They were false; they never tallied with your own understanding, intelligence, intuition. Still, you had to believe in them because everybody else was believing in them. Not to believe in them would have created many kinds of troubles.

It is easier to go with the crowd; otherwise, the crowd can be very crude, very primitive. It respects people, gives them honor if they are obedient to its superstitions -- and naturally, everybody wants to be respected, honored. A natural instinct to be respected is exploited.

A natural desire to live a comfortable, easy life is exploited, because if you start raising questions about beliefs, you will be continuously struggling with your neighbors, with your family, with your teachers, with your priest, with your husband, with your wife, even with your children. Your life will become a chaos. Nobody wants to make his life a chaos.
These are natural longings of every man, and these can be exploited very easily. And the best way to exploit is to give you beliefs -- beautiful beliefs, but they remain superficial. They never ring any bell in your heart.
"Jesus loves you" -- you hear the words, but nothing happens in your heart.

He will come to you, he will come to your rescue, he is your savior" -- but these are just empty words to you, and you go on carrying these empty words your whole life. They become more or less just part of the formalities; your religion becomes a formality, something of the same category as etiquette.

You have to live with so many people -- naturally, you have to adjust, to adapt, and not to create an unnecessary nuisance, not to become a target of their enmity. But this is not going to help your growth.
On the contrary, because these words, these beliefs remain empty for your whole life, deep down a suspicion settles that all religion is bogus. It is very difficult for an intelligent man not to come to this conclusion... a whole life of belief, and your hands are empty and your heart is empty. There have been no golden moments, no experiences that go beyond this world.

So you perform the ritual: you go the church just as you go to the Rotary Club, there is no difference at all. Perhaps going to the Rotary Club or Lions' Club or some other club, you feel more excited than going to church. Going to church seems to be a burden, a duty that has to be done.

Remember, `duty' is a four-letter ugly word.

Love knows no duty. It does many things, but it loves to do them -- it is not duty.
The moment you utter the word "duty" it means there is no love.

You have to do it because you have to do it; the pressure of the crowd is so much. But it is deep down a humiliation, an insult, a destruction of your self-respect.

Naturally, you live a so-called religious life -- Christian, Hindu, Mohammedan -- but absolutely superficial, it has no authenticity.

And the trick is very simple: they have substituted belief in place of trust.
Trust is something that grows in you. It is not imposed on you; it is not a plastic flower but a rose that grows, blossoms, releases its fragrance. Trust is the most poetic experience of life. But the basic necessity for trust to happen is that you should not be burdened with beliefs.

Beliefs are false coins; they look like trust, and they can deceive small children very easily. And once you have accepted those beliefs as trust, you will never try to find the distinction -- and the distinction is abysmal, unbridgeable.
If you love your children, don't give them any belief. Help them so that they can grow trust. If you don't know something, never lie to the children because sooner or later they are going to find that you lied -- and when a child finds that the father lied to him, the teacher lied, the priest lied, all possibilities of trust are destroyed. He could not have conceived that the people he has loved -- and has loved totally, because a child loves totally.

...
An innocent child, absolutely dependent on you, and you have the nerve to deceive him, to say things which he is going to find one day that you never knew. If he asks about God, if you are an authentic father, sincere, honest, you should say "I am seeking, I have not found yet." Give your child a desire to seek, a desire to search. Help him to go on a pilgrimage, and tell him, "It may be that you find it before I find it. Then don't forget me; then help me to find it. Right now, I don't know."
Your child will never disrespect you; your child will never come to a point when he will say that you were dishonest towards him, that you lied. And your child will have tremendous honor for you because you made him, his innocence, his questioning, into a search. You created a seeker, not a believer.

Real parents will not create Christians and Hindus and Mohammedans. Real teachers will not create believers, only authentic seekers.

^^^ O S H O

JAH Bless
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If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love + If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love = I am nothing. 1 Corinth 13

natty threads

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Re: Married to a non Rasta
« Reply #9 on: March 04, 2009, 02:57:28 AM »

Maybe I can help some...

You are supposed to submit to your husband and there is no reason or love in going against his wishes directly without actual cause.

Stay in prayer and do as Jah guides you.

Perhaps you and your children could do the bible study with his mother?

I do not know the family dynamic, but he may fear what others think of Ras.

Perhaps if you associate somewhat with his family he will see that what you are doing is not out of bounds, especially if they are able to see what you are doing is directing your children toward Jah.

Of course you have to raise your children with what you are.
There can be no other way.

Maybe he thinks Rasta isn't really you.

Once you pick a faith for children it is a lifetime commitment.
You have to model faith as well.

As to creating seekers, sure.
But because one person hears of Yahshuah's love and doesn't believe it doesn't mean others cannot believe.

And if you do believe and do not share that with your children you aren't a parent.

Bless up.

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